Promise not to Poison Me?
by AtLoLevad
Summary: A series of related or unrelated drabbles surrounding Rose's inability to cook
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Short and sweet….thanks to rikuwolrd on Tumblr for the prompt**

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"Why are you limping, comrade?" I poked my head over the back of the couch and watched as Dimitri slowly made his way through the door.

He shook his head, "Its nothing. Don't worry about me."

Ding ding ding. He might as well have had a glowing arrow pointing to his head saying, 'I WAS INJURED ON DUTY TODAY'

I snorted, "Yeah right. First rule of marriage, always worry about the significant other."

He gave a half smile and then winced as he sat on a kitchen chair.

I stood up, discarding a folder I had been reading from, "Strip."

His eyebrows shot up, "Rose?"

"Pfft, not like that. Well, I always want you like that, but not right now. Take off the pants," my hands went for his belt buckle since Dimitri didn't look like he was going to.

I got the belt undone before Dimitri swatted my hands away, "i can handle it from here."

He stood up and wiggled the black jeans to the floor.

I gasped at the sight of his knee. It was twice the size of a regular knee and mottled purple, black, yellow and green.

"Dimitri! What happened? Are you okay?" I bent down and lightly brushed my fingers over the bruising.

He winced, even though my fingers weren't pressing hard, "Hazard of the job, Rose. I'll be fine in a couple of days."

i stood back up, "Go! Sit on the couch. I'm going to make you soup."

I nudged him in the direction of the couch and started clattering around for a pot.

"Rose, really, you don't have to poison me…"

"Ha ha ha," I tossed a fake laugh over my shoulder, "Just relax. I'll take care of you."

"I know you will."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I decided to turn this one into a drabble series of sorts. This prompt sort of came from Twilight407501. Hope you guys like it! And leave me ****prompts!**

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"Sophieeee! Come here!" I shouted, dropping the baby sized fork to the counter and bolting out of the kitchen.

"No!" my mischievous 3-year-old daughter squealed, and ran, giggling, around the first floor of our house.

"Sophia!" I chased her through the living room, knocking a chair over and smashing my hip into the wall.

"Ow, ow, sh-!" I mumbled hopping on one foot.

"Find me mommy!" Sophie's little voice shouted, punctuated by more giggles.

I blew out a sigh of air, this is what I get for being so obnoxious as a kid. My very own mini-me.

I groaned, "Sophie, you have to eat dinner if you want daddy to give you a bath later."

It was quiet. I crossed my fingers, maybe she was contemplating the draw of Dimitri leading bath time.

"No!" She shrieked a minute later, "I hate dinner!"

"So she's learned that you can't cook," Dimitri's accented voice came from the front hallway.

I spun on my heel, "I can so cook!"

"Mommy's food is yucky!" Sophie helpfully called from her hiding space.

I rolled my eyes, "Thanks, Soph."

"Welcome, mommy!"

Dimitri laughed, "She is all you."

"Unfortunately," I groaned, "She won't eat. I literally grilled some chicken! How could I have messed that up?"

Dimitri was already inspecting the remaining chicken in the pan, "It's rubbery, Rose."

I dropped my head to the table, "I don't even know why I try."

Dimitri kissed the back of my neck, "Because you're stubborn and want to succeed."

I sighed. He had a point.

"Soap, how about I make us some pasta a la Dad?" Dimitri called down the hall.

Sophie came running into his arms, "I want extra cheese on mine!"

I watched Dimitri lift her up into his arms, grateful someone in my life knew how to cook.

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"Mommy, you shouldn't cook anymore," Sophie said twenty minutes later, shovelling pasta and vegetables into her little mouth.

Dimitri and I shared a look.

His said, 'Shes right.'

Mine said, 'Shut the hell up.'


	3. Chapter 3

"Rose?" Lissa's voice was hesitant.

"Yeah?" I muttered, scowling and smacking at the lump of dough in front of me. Dammit! Why couldn't this stupid bread just cooperate for once?

"I think…that last loaf might be on fire," Lissa said, pulling my arm and turning me around.

"What? No. It can't be," I all but pushed her out of the way and wrenched open the oven door.

Sure enough, I was met with a wave of heat and a minor fire in my oven.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I bounced from foot to foot, grabbing an oven mitt and pulling the tray out into the open.

"What do I do?" I turned to Lissa, panic totally evident in my voice.

She looked at me, eyes wide, "I don't know! Haven't you set things on fire before?"

"No!" I said, offended, "You live with Fire Boy, hasn't he set stuff on fire before?"

"No," Lissa frowned, "Well, if he has, he's always put it out before I could see."

I turned back to the flaming, charred bread, "Oh crap, if I burn the house down Dimitri'll kill me."

"Water?" Lissa suggested, "I can…" She gestured with her hands, always up for practicing her four weaker magic skills.

"Go for it," I shrugged, I didn't have any better ideas.

Lissa hat the tray with a weak stream of water, but it only made the fire worse.

I screamed, "Lissa!"

"I'm sorry!" she wailed, "I didn't think…."

He voice was cut off by the shrill sound of the smoke detector.

We stared at each other, completely in panic.

"Lissa? Rose?" Christian came running into the kitchen, Dimitri hot on his heels.

"What the hell happened?" Christian asked, as Dimitri took the fire extinguisher from the corner and put the bread out.

Fire extinguisher? Where had that come from?

"Oh, Rose was making bread…but…." Lissa shrugged, "It didn't exactly…work."

Both Christian and Dimitri looked at me.

"Hey!" I defended myself, "It happened very suddenly, and I haven't' set anything else on fire in a long time!"

"I don't understand why you didn't put it out," Dimitri shook his head.

"We tried!" I protested, "Lissa used some water."

"You can't put fire like that out with water," Christian explained, "Why didn't you use the fire extinguisher?"

"I didn't know we had one," I muttered, scowling at the floor.

"Because I just bought it the other day," Dimitri cut in, "I figured we might have use for it when you decided to start baking bread."

"Comrade of little faith," I punched my boyfriend's shoulder.

"Well deserved little faith," Dimitri smirked back at me.

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**A/N: A short little drabble to get me back into writing Vampire Academy. I've been MIA lately, and I'm sorry about that. But now with the semester ending, I'll have more time to write =)**

**Leave me a review…they really make my day =)**


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